Friday, December 31, 2010

Two Things Men are Thinking About Sex and Whatever Else is on Their Mind.

Here's my evidence:

USA spends more on porn that on country, rock, classical music combined and Broadway musicals. It is a $10 billion industry in the States alone, bigger than pro baseball and football combined.

Each year $4 billion is spent on DVDs and 11,000 are made each year which is more movies than Hollywood.

30% of rentals are porno. The top internet search words are 1. Porn, 2. Sex, etc Most internet porn is viewed between 0900 and 1700 hrs. 60 - 80 % of porn addicts, that is those that watch on a regular basis spend over an hour each day.

There are over 2400 strip clubs in the USA some make up to $8 per year employing up to 200 girls.

61% of high school seniors claim to have had sexual intercourse. 25% of all STDs are with adolescents.

By the time of graduation the student has watched on average 15,000 hours of TV and undergone 12,000 hours of classroom activity. Each year they receive around 14,000 references encouraging sexual activity through various media outlets, how many discouraging messages are received? 165!

Is it any wonder that the conversations I have with men encouraging the benefits of abstinence, fidelity, and patience as preparations for being worthy husbands and fathers is met with bewilderment.

Here is further information for those who feel moved to understand what's going on beyond the net curtains for your neighbours home:

This information is courtesy of Safe Families.
Pornography Addiction and Industry Statistics
As of 2003, there were 1.3 million pornographic websites; 260 million pages (N2H2, 2003).
The total porn industry revenue for 2006: $13.3 billion in the United States; $97 billion worldwide (Internet Filter Review).
U.S. adult DVD/video rentals in 2005: almost 1 billion (Adult Video News).
Hotel viewership for adult films: 55% (
Unique worldwide users visiting adult web sites monthly: 72 million (Internet Filter Review).
Number of hardcore pornography titles released in 2005 (U.S.): 13,588 (Internet Filter Review).
Adults admitting to Internet sexual addiction: 10%; 28% of those are women (
More than 70% of men from 18 to 34 visit a pornographic site in a typical month (comScore Media Metrix).
More than 20,000 images of child pornography posted online every week (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children, 10/8/03).
Approximately 20% of all Internet pornography involves children (National Center for Mission & Exploited Children).
100,000 websites offer illegal child pornography (U.S. Customs Service estimate).
As of December 2005, child pornography was a $3 billion annual industry (
“At a 2003 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, two thirds of the 350 divorce lawyers who attended said the Internet played a significant role in the divorces in the past year, with excessive interest in online porn contributing to more than half such cases. Pornography had an almost non-existent role in divorce just seven or eight years ago.” (
Christians, Pastors and Church Pornography Statistics
A 1996 Promise Keepers survey at one of their stadium events revealed that over 50% of the men in attendance were involved with pornography within one week of attending the event.
51% of pastors say cyber-porn is a possible temptation. 37% say it is a current struggle (Christianity Today, Leadership Survey, 12/2001).
Over half of evangelical pastors admits viewing pornography last year.
Roger Charman of Focus on the Family’s Pastoral Ministries reports that approximately 20 percent of the calls received on their Pastoral Care Line are for help with issues such as pornography and compulsive sexual behavior.
In a 2000 Christianity Today survey, 33% of clergy admitted to having visited a sexually explicit Web site. Of those who had visited a porn site, 53% had visited such sites “a few times” in the past year, and 18% visit sexually explicit sites between a couple of times a month and more than once a week.
29% of born again adults in the U.S. feel it is morally acceptable to view movies with explicit sexual behavior (The Barna Group).
57% of pastors say that addiction to pornography is the most sexually damaging issue to their congregation (Christians and Sex Leadership Journal Survey, March 2005).
Statistics on Women with Pornography Addiction
28% those admitting to sexual addiction are women (
34% of female readers of Today’s Christian Woman’s online newsletter admitted to intentionally accessing Internet porn in a recent poll and 1 out of every 6 women, including Christians, struggles with an addiction to pornography (Today’s Christian Woman, Fall 2003).
Statistics on Pornography’s Effect on Families and Marriages
47% percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home (Focus on the Family Poll, October 1, 2003).
The Internet was a significant factor in 2 out of 3 divorces (American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers in 2003 –
Statistics on Child Pornography Use
9 out of 10 children aged between the ages of 8 and 16 have viewed pornography on the Internet, in most cases unintentionally (London School of Economics January 2002).
Average age of first Internet exposure to pornography: 11 years old (
Largest consumer of Internet pornography: 12 – 17 year-old age group (various sources, as of 2007).
Adult industry says traffic is 20-30% children (NRC Report 2002, 3.3).
Youth with significant exposure to sexuality in the media were shown to be significantly more likely to have had intercourse at ages 14 to 16 (Report in Pediatrics, April, 2006).
“Never before in the history of telecommunications media in the United States has so much indecent (and obscene) material been so easily accessible by so many minors in so many American homes with so few restrictions.”
– U.S. Department of Justice, Post Hearing Memorandum of Points and Authorities, at l, ACLU v. Reno, 929 F. Supp. 824 (1996).
Statistics on Online Perpetrators
1 in 7 children who use the internet have been sexually solicated – 2005. (Internet Filter Review)
1 in 4 kids participate in Real Time Chat. (FamilyPC Survey, 2000).
1 in 5 children (10 to 17 years old) receives unwanted sexual solicitations online (Youth Internet Safety Survey, U.S. Department of Justice, 2001).
2 in 5 abductions of children ages 15-17 are due to Internet contact (San Diego Police Dept.).
76% of victims in Net-initiated sexual exploitation cases were 13-15, 75% were girls. “Most cases progressed to sexual encounters” – 93% of the face-to-face meetings involved illegal sex (Journal of Adolescent Health, November 2004)

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Truth Plus Obedience = Solid Rock Foundation

Truth in obedience out! :-) If only I had the wit, sense and intelligence to accept that teaching. Did I receive that sound counsel early in my life? I don't remember doing so and would I have taken any notice? It would have at least been useful to have received the teaching, responded and rejected the guidance for there would be no telling when dormant seeds may have sprung into life. Truth in obedience out, that's the rock to build a life on and lean into the future.

The truth is that I am now in a position to come to you in a loving way and encourage you to work out the truth with fear, urgency and care. With the Truth you are in a position to love well. I know you reckon you love your spouse, parents or children just fine the way you are, but wouldn't you like to love them better? Don't you love them enough to see that they deserve to be loved more? Wouldn't you at least like to try? If it seems too much like hard work then that's indifference and indifference is no less loving than hatred. Do you see? You need to know love to love and you have an opportunity to love in ways you have never loved before.

We live in a Pagan culture. It's the new atheism that says the body, beauty, youth, comfort, the environment is worthy of worship. The claim is that what we can see, touch, feel and scientifically examine is all there is of substantial value. However, love is very different. Those things you need for comfort, satisfaction or affection you cannot love. You cannot love what you need because love is not needy, love is not selfish, it is compassionate, generous and giving. Jesus did not coerce anyone into loving Him 2000 years ago, he served them. He does not and will not coerce you into loving him today. That's the big frightening idea. Your loving father in heaven is relentlessly pursuing you but He's not about to appear on a giant white stallion just now, to 'put the fear of God in you", he wants you to love him freely. You have the awesome responsibility of free will with which to love or rebel. Your call.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

This had better be good if I am going to attract your attention. I guess it's the excitement of life. Seeing as you walk the steet, speak with those you love and spending time with people. Do you get fired up seeing human endeavour, dispondency, ambivilence? I do, it's bewildering, it's awesome. The whole mix of human feeling fascinates me especially ambivalence. Indifference to suffering or just indifference to life is as bad as hatred and seem somehow callous.

Someone I love asked me, "yea but I am quite content what difference would it make to me if I followed and believed in Jesus?" I am sorry I didn't answer well. I should have said, "to know how much you are loved, which is wonderful!"

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Cultural Norms

The best way of supporting the sale and purchasing of porn is to day that it is a legitimate industry that generates jobs, creates business opportunities, it's a freedom of choice matter, is really nothing more than an extension of ancient erotic art, is daring because it challenges convention and prudes and is a strike for the libertarian cause. Nobody is going to be harmed, it adds spice to a relationship and provides an outlet for the libido of the would be sexual predator.

Of course nothing could be further from the truth. The reason why most people use porn clandestinely is because they feel the shame. Even soldiers who will sometimes watch in groups are doing it for reasons of bravado without much thought to the damage. This is an industry that ravages people's lives. I was in a quiet rural gas station yesterday and on display was a spread of hard core porn. Despite the plastic covers providing some protection from the graphic scenes the images viewable were quite clearly of 'women' being screwed. I use the term advisedly because this is screwing up the lives of women around the world. How does this affect the mind, thoughts outlook of the young woman behind the counter who has to see and sell that material?

You cannot avoid being affected by this industry as it rolls back the frontiers of 'tolerance' for graphic sexual imagery. There's your great cultural politically correct verb 'to tolerate'. Poised on the lips of libertarians and liberal intellectuals throughout the western world. In the name of tolerance the exclusive truth claims of Jesus are rejected as being intolerant of other religions. You bet He was intolerant. Christmas offers an exclusive claim. It is claims that reject Islam, Buddhism, consumerism, spiritualism. It is claim that says clearly that if you follow the world and reject Jesus you will go to Hell! If you are living in rebellion, reject Jesus as God and reckon that the world's scientific theories has the answers you have nothing to celebrate in Christmas.

Jesus was intolerant of women being marginalized from society just because they had been sexually promiscuous, adulterous, sold their bodies for sex, or weren't given the opportunity for community. After all his His Mum had been pregnant out of wedlock in a time when that could have attracted a severe punishment. People suffer because in the West we fund a global sex industry that makes the trafficking of young women and children and profitable venture. Please encourage your local retail outlet to consider this. Please tell him or her that Christmas is a time of great news. If he says Happy Christmas explain that there will be no happiness for those who reject Jesus for eventually every knee will bow and every tongue confess either today to rejoice at new life or beyond the grave from the cold dark place where souls who lived separated from God will reside forever.

Thursday, December 9, 2010


Out of the deep chill, snow and freezing fog emerged today a stunning blue sky. Running across a road bridge I cast a long dark shadow which I chased down the pavement. How reminiscent of life chasing shadows, what Plato called forms, when beating on your back is the warmth of the light. All you have do is rest in its warmth knowing that even when you can't see it it's there. Of course one day the sun will be no more. The one who placed it there will let it die and like the stars we see dying in the night sky so our world will be no more. Even the most vehement atheist scientists accept that Biblical prophesy.

Sometimes it takes a while to answer a request. Days ago a friend asked for prayers for the school that thought it a good idea to have a St Trinian's fancy dress for young teenagers. I got to thinking what a great opportunity to examine culture. We have to see that there is nothing extraordinary about this in a culture that happily dresses prepubescent girls in adult style clothes designed to show off the body. Girls who would in previous generations been in jumpers and run around clothes are dressing to impress. This tells us that paganism, where youth and the body are prominent and preeminent in value, is strengthening. This is an understandable result of a generation schooled in equality, tolerance a diversity. When men heard that women wanted to be equal many thought fantastic let's get it on. Whoever thinks this is a good thing really doesn't know men very well. Youth, beauty, status and the body is worshipped. Look at how much of our time, treasure, talent and energy are infested in this. We even value the opinion of the young when most of them really do need to learn to shut up and listen. However, if most adults they listen to have no other source of wisdom than their jaundiced opinion and limited experiential knowledge what self respecting youth is going to not see that for the nonsense it is! If these adults are telling them that for the sake of equality, tolerance and diversity they value their opinion then of course they are going to work out that person is an imbecile! I bet even Oscar Wilde would be castigated patronizing for saying youth is wasted on the young, he was simply pointing out that when we are young we are naive and dumb! And I submit to you that if you haven't yet worked out that when you were young you would have reached a degree of credible maturity far sooner had you spent more time listening then you probably still have some way to go.

I have heard the liberal arguments, I was one of its fiercest proponents. Are you that determined to cling to the age of enlightenment as a good thing? We are seeing the ripe fruits of a 300 year experiment and I am unimpressed. The idea that we should challenge all authority and science and technology will cure us of mankind's ills is proving a shaky hypothesis. Walk down the street, speak to a social worker, talk to an abandoned mother, divorced wife, embittered and abused woman. It's fine saying medical science has prolonged our lives but to what end. Living to ninety is no good if you have never been loved well. The only good thing I can imagine to living to old age in misery, frustration and gnawing depression is that it might give you some preparation for the conscience eternal torments of hell.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The mind

It's more about what you don't let into the mind than what you do. If people's minds weren't full of such nonsense from the world around them would there not be less suffering? Take the woman at the wedding I attended with Jo last week. The beautiful 16 year old when we first met, 1988, is now a mum of three wonderful children all below 9 years old. She is still beautiful and now a dignified and lovely woman, great company and fun to be with. Now explain to me why her husband decided to abandon a wife and three kids? Here's my explanation. It is because his mind is full of what the world drip feeds each of us everyday. From our days in the classrooms listening existentialism from teachers under the influence of 20th century atheistic philosophers. They tell us that God is an invention of man designed to oppress our spirits and control our behaviour, you can believe what you wish, take a version of the truth you find most plausible and that can be your truth. The man says this is an idea I like. That means even when I make a solemn vow until death I can break that vow, abandon that woman, and neglect those children? You bet sir. Women have equality now which means they can be treated as badly as men treat one another.

The sorriest state of affairs is when women are drawn into this desperate need for material wealth to numb the pain of a life lived disconnected from the source of our love. How we try so hard through our minds, ideas, theories, religions and addictions to be our own god, shaping the world around us to conform to our image and likeness. A world where fidelity is only necessary if there is a risk of getting caught, where porn is legitimate art, where the sexuality of culture and objectification of the female form is seen as victimless. Oh how easy to ignore the suffering of those we don't know. What a relief to know that our loved ones are safe. We are each facing devastation and anguish, it's coming to all of us. Do you really want to be alone, do you honestly think you can handle it? Are you so convinced of your god like statues that pride will see you through the pain? You will be utterly broken with shattered dreams and hopes. Oh to know the joy of being loved when you are utterly alone. To know the joy of loving strangers and enemies because you have first been loved.

The joy of knowing that the seeds of love, life, joy, hope and salvation are planted for the generations that will follow long after we are dead. Thank you Jesus for the gift of wisdom to explain to my sons their purpose, thank you for the gift of our physical bodies, for the knowledge that they are precious and valued, thank you for the wonderful gift that is the safety and security of a marriage covenant entered into with you at the centre. Thank you for loving that abandoned wife and her three beautiful children now that the passive coward masquerading as a man has abandoned them. And I pray that through your grace she may come to know you and may once again find a real man to step up and share with her the great journey of life lived in your light.

Thursday, December 2, 2010


That was perfect timing, thank you. You have joined this blog at just the right moment. It has been such a long time since I recorded. I know that having a steady writing rhythm is essential if one is to keep people engaged. So here are a few questions for us to ponder:

Why do I not buy my Christmas and birthday presents in plenty of time?

Why do I avoid choices that would benefit me in the long term or even the medium term or for that matter even tomorrow morning?

Why am I writing this blog 19 minutes before I am due to be at work when I have yet to clean my teeth and get sorted?

Surely I am seizing the moment to get on with what I feel needs to be done. I doubt it. I have a friend who was a soldier but is now a professional athlete, Tom Lowe, The thing is Tom now writes and I would imagine far more profusely that before and in a more timely manner. Is he motivated by need, greed or fear?

Our hearts are wellsprings, from them flows what we really value. Some blog because it gives them an opportunity to talk about themselves, get their opinions out or preach. Much of our lives are spent preaching or being preached to. Most conversations we are trying to persuade another of a certain worldview. Even the kindly old lady chatting at the bus queue is somehow sharing with her neighour those things that are important to her in the hope that someone will hear, empathize and understand.

Let me assure you that I am not sharing Adrian's opinion, laced with all the baggage from a lifetime of caring only for that which I find attractive. I am writing because I love you. I want to engage with you, to work through the monumental truths that separate the purpose for our lives from the competing truth claims we contend with throughout each day through the people we meet.