Saturday, July 10, 2010


On the face of it was a harmless question, "was he queer?", however when you stop to think about it this was a terrible thing to ask in the company of an attentive eighteen year old man and revealed so much about the mindset of the questioner, the cultural context of our day and the careless way as parents, friends and family we use words.

We were having lunch with my father, I told him about the sad passing of our dear friend Luder Ahmels. I told him a little about Luder's life which included the detail that he was single and this prompted the question about Luder's sexual behaviour. The question for this blog is why the interest in Luder's sex life, why associate singleness with homosexuality, why a willingness to ask a question of such an intimate personal nature and why not consider the subliminal messages this sends to all those with whom you are sharing lunch?

I am reading a book called the Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin. The first half of the book is all about his path to success as a chess-master. It is peppered generously with references to spirituality, flow and ancient Chinese philosophy. It is a classic tale of someone's voyage of discovery and how the twentieth century existentialist mindset has such a strong influence on our attitudes. It is self orientated, looking at the world through a lens of self discovery as if inside every human being there is this calm, insightful inner person accessible who is going to fulfill his or her potential. Needless to say the author is clearly missing the big E on the eye chart as to why the relationship with his girlfriend is so volatile and he has this continued appetite to discover his inner self. More to follow.........

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